I heard about your advice column and thought I would take the opportunity to write.... while I myself have no problems or issues that need resolving, I have this friend who could use your words of wisdom.
ahem.
So, "my friend" tells me that a couple months ago he asked this really cute girl out, and although she smiled and seemed very flattered, she politely declined, indicating she wasn't ready to date or anything. So anyway, my friend recently bumped into her again and they struck up conversation, became facebook friends, and he really finds her interesting and wants to get to know her better. But he thinks asking her out again could possibly be not taking a hint that she's not interested. (my friend is kind of an idiot in that way). So, should he give it another shot, or should he move on?
P.S. She cheats in Words With Friends, so her character is in question.
Go for it! Er, I mean, tell your friend to go for it! What does he have to lose? Best case scenario: she says yes! Worst case scenario: she politely declines again. At least then he'll know if he wasn't taking a hint. Also, Facebook offers a great opportunity to get to know her. It could also give him insight to whether she is interested in him or ready to date all, before he takes the plunge. But really, I think just going for it sans research would probably yield the best results. Plus, it saves him the anxiety of wondering.
Good luck (to "your friend"),
Saybher
P.S. It's almost impossible not to cheat in Words With Friends!
That's a tough question. Every woman is different. I hope "your friend" enjoys puzzles. I would say that if getting to know her better was the main objective here, why not ask her on a lunch date or coffee. If she's open to either of those, than a dinner date could be an option too. An innocent lunch or coffee date is much less intrusive and formal than dinner. Personally, I would be much more inclined to say yes to lunch or coffee than a dinner date. But, once again, every woman is different. If she says yes to that, though, being able to figure out if she would like to date would be easier. And it would be an opportunity to let her get to know him in casual atmosphere without the stress of "the first date."
The best relationships always start out as friendships. I understand that men HATE the friend zone but would you (in the broad sense of men in general) rather be friends with her forever or maybe something more but only for a brief moment(in case it didn't work out)? And who's to say that just being friends won't develop into more someday....patience, grasshoppah. Casual friend invites, group outings, facebook chats, etc are far less pressure and less likely to feel like a rejection if the answer happens to be no.
On a side note - related or not - I am a big fan of 'serial dating'. As long as all parties involved understand that there is no exclusivity clauses to the 'relationship'.
So, there you have it. The dolls have all weighed in. Hope this helps you...er, your friend...in his decisions.
Thanks for the replies, wise ones! I didn't check this until just now, only saw the first response. All very good advice, much appreciated! My friend was in no rush and had no expectations, just thought it would've been cool to get to know her. Serial dating, been there done that. Sometimes it's a matter of timing.
I think I may consider losing the mullet however. Perhaps tomorrow.
Hey there Wanderlust Dolls,
ReplyDeleteI heard about your advice column and thought I would take the opportunity to write.... while I myself have no problems or issues that need resolving, I have this friend who could use your words of wisdom.
ahem.
So, "my friend" tells me that a couple months ago he asked this really cute girl out, and although she smiled and seemed very flattered, she politely declined, indicating she wasn't ready to date or anything. So anyway, my friend recently bumped into her again and they struck up conversation, became facebook friends, and he really finds her interesting and wants to get to know her better. But he thinks asking her out again could possibly be not taking a hint that she's not interested. (my friend is kind of an idiot in that way). So, should he give it another shot, or should he move on?
P.S. She cheats in Words With Friends, so her character is in question.
Mulletman.
Dear Mulletman,
DeleteGo for it! Er, I mean, tell your friend to go for it! What does he have to lose? Best case scenario: she says yes! Worst case scenario: she politely declines again. At least then he'll know if he wasn't taking a hint. Also, Facebook offers a great opportunity to get to know her. It could also give him insight to whether she is interested in him or ready to date all, before he takes the plunge. But really, I think just going for it sans research would probably yield the best results. Plus, it saves him the anxiety of wondering.
Good luck (to "your friend"),
Saybher
P.S. It's almost impossible not to cheat in Words With Friends!
Mr. Mulletman
ReplyDeleteThat's a tough question. Every woman is different. I hope "your friend" enjoys puzzles. I would say that if getting to know her better was the main objective here, why not ask her on a lunch date or coffee. If she's open to either of those, than a dinner date could be an option too. An innocent lunch or coffee date is much less intrusive and formal than dinner. Personally, I would be much more inclined to say yes to lunch or coffee than a dinner date. But, once again, every woman is different. If she says yes to that, though, being able to figure out if she would like to date would be easier. And it would be an opportunity to let her get to know him in casual atmosphere without the stress of "the first date."
Hope everything works out :)
*Baby Doll*
Dearest Mulletman,
DeleteHere is Momma Dolls 2 cents....
The best relationships always start out as friendships. I understand that men HATE the friend zone but would you (in the broad sense of men in general) rather be friends with her forever or maybe something more but only for a brief moment(in case it didn't work out)? And who's to say that just being friends won't develop into more someday....patience, grasshoppah. Casual friend invites, group outings, facebook chats, etc are far less pressure and less likely to feel like a rejection if the answer happens to be no.
On a side note - related or not - I am a big fan of 'serial dating'. As long as all parties involved understand that there is no exclusivity clauses to the 'relationship'.
So, there you have it. The dolls have all weighed in. Hope this helps you...er, your friend...in his decisions.
The Momma Doll
Thanks for the replies, wise ones! I didn't check this until just now, only saw the first response. All very good advice, much appreciated! My friend was in no rush and had no expectations, just thought it would've been cool to get to know her. Serial dating, been there done that. Sometimes it's a matter of timing.
ReplyDeleteI think I may consider losing the mullet however. Perhaps tomorrow.
Many thanks,
Mulletover Man